Jimjilbanging

Boryeong, South Korea is famous for its mud, and its mud festival, which is held every July.  I wish I had taken the advice of a fellow traveler and gone this year, alas I’ll have to extend my contract through July next year. That why I’ll be able to tell you what’s it’s like to get painted in mud and walk around the beach with a couple thousand other foreigners.

But I can tell you all about how I got naked and bathed in mud…in a spa! (gutter minds)

The story goes down as follows…

We had just arrived at Dacheon beach when it began to rain.  After finding a place to stay for the night, we walked to the beach and got our feet wet, followed by a dash to shelter as the sprinkles turned into full-blown rain drops.  DANGIT!! I wanted to lay out and soak up all the sun I could!  Then Tina mentioned the Mud Spa just up the beach.  By all means lets check that out and get out of this rain.

Down the beach we walked to this modern building, covered in little white people in black face…uh I mean covered in mud. Oh Korea….We walked in and looked at the prices….Whoa a full massage is how much?  $30?? oh hell yes!  We paid the man and were pointed upstairs.  And that’s were it got weird.

At the top of the stairs we were instructed to remove our shoes and place them in little wooden lockers, and then enter the next room.  Once inside we are then instructed to remove our clothing, fold them and place them in slightly larger wooden lockers, put the key ring on our wrist and enter the bathing room.  I look at Tina, she looks at me…What do you mean take off all our clothing?? Whoa lady, look I don’t take off nothing on a first date, I sure as hell ain’t getting naked with a bunch of ajumma’s just waiting to point at a couple of waygookins.

But we had already paid…So off went the clothes, on went towels we swiped! 

We then proceed into the bathing area, are told to wash “really” good and then we are to get into a series of baths.  My eyes remain on the ceiling, like it’s the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen, and we step into the “Hot Mineral” bath.  Since no one else is in that one…After playing musical baths for about 45 minutes, we are summoned into the massage area.

And then it gets weirder…

We are told, by comical gesturing, to lay down in these little pod like things.  They look like strange little tanning beds, and I’m an old pro at tanning beds.  Never met one I didn’t like…Well unless it was made prior to 2003, goes longer than 15 minutes and doesn’t have high pressure bulbs. Then I don’t like it.  But these things looked like something a small space man would fly in.  I eye it, and the spa attendant laughs at me. Not cool!  I lay down and she mashes a couple of buttons and closes me inside, just my face is sticking out.  Then she puts a face mask on me, hits another button and walks away.  I feel warmth inside the pod…Oh shit what is this!  My skin starts to sting. Not cool at all.  I spend the next 15 minutes holding the pod door up because they are trying to cook me.  I still don’t know what that thing was for!

After 15 minutes we are led to tables and told to lay down on our backs, and were given little privacy towels.  How cute, nope they didn’t do their job with me.  Next, we were given make shift hand and feet massages and then told to roll over.  Now comes the mud part…

A lady begins to smear mud all over my backside. It drys, and then she proceeds to do the same on the other side.  Let’s just say she got to second base.  After I’m completely covered in mud I have to go lay in this sauna thing with a warm brick under my head.  I didn’t like it. Sauna’s aren’t my favorite thing in the world.  Next came a shower! And then the best part of this whole experience!! The milky flower bath!!

Oh my, it was heaven!  They mix this warm bubbly bath for you, and it smells wonderful.  Like flowers and sugar.  Total luxury.  It was what I figure the baths were like in Egypt for Cleopatra. For serious.  I wish I could have just had that for the 4 hours I was there.

Then we could put our clothes back on.  For what would have close hundreds back home, we were treated to Korean luxury fr only $30 and had one crazy, naked experience.  If you’re ever in Boryeong, or Korea for that matter, I highly recommend the Mud Spa.  Just be prepared to get naked…

From Korea, with love!